Things that run through my mind:

Life is Short- It has become glaringly apparent over the past few years. Maybe it's because prior to 2008 I had not had to deal with a lot  of death, but that has changed. Since 2008 I have lost 9 family members or friends. That seems a bit extreme considering that's within  a 5 year time period. I'm getting older, I realize it comes with age, but sometimes I feel like screaming "Really?"

Time Flies- I stood in a beautiful field watching my talented cousin take the most amazing photos of my son, the high school senior and I couldn't help but remember the photo shoot at Art Rich in 1997 to commemorate his one year birthday. Yeah, that was a long time ago and I feel like it was yesterday, but in the words of my idol, Stevie Nicks:, "Children Get Older and I'm Getting Older Too."

Love is strong- The power of love has guided me back to friends I thought were lost and has inspired me watching the strength of people facing difficult decisions but the love guides them and gives them the strength to do the unthinkable.

Communication is key- Talk to them. Someone I admire greatly pointed out the pitfalls of the digital age of texting, emailing and facebook. Although its a great tool it has replaced a lot of human contact and has caused problems because of miscommunication. There are things not meant for social networking and should be handled in person or a phone call. I won't forget that in the future. You never know the struggles of others unless you ask.

Animals are great and people can suck- I love what I do with Bikers Against Animal Cruelty. It makes a difference every day for an animal and that's what is important, but I would be lying if I said it doesn't affect me.  A piece of me dies every time we lose an animal to abuse. Some days I just want to crawl in a hole and hide from the world. So much evil and pain inflicted on animals who just want to give unconditional love and be loved back. It shouldn't be this hard, but it is. People suck sometimes. It's a fact of life. So until every animal is treated with love and respect and has a place to call home. We shall continue to fight.

Times are tough for everyone- I struggle all the time with finances. I am a paycheck to paycheck person. I'm grateful for my ex, his parents and my mom because without them my son would not have the things he does. I feel so worthless sometimes because I can't do for him and for others in the way that I would like. I hate receiving the little red warning bills every month. I am embarrassed when at times I'm raiding the change jar for gas money. Am I alone? Hell no. Are there people out there in far worse shape than me? Absolutely and I remind myself how lucky I am that I have the support of family to give my son everything he deserves and that I have a roof over my head and food for my animals. It's tough. Every day is a struggle, but we keep on going, we keep on giving when we can. We do the best for ourselves and others.

This is what is going on in my head today. If one thing I have shared today helps you gain perspective than putting myself out there is worth every word.  

Love to all.

The New Leaf

Be Honest

   To your parents

   To your children

   To your friends

   Most importantly to yourself.

Own your mistakes. Forgiveness comes quicker that way.

Learn from them too.

Take the blame no matter how big or how small. If it's yours to take.

Remember the good times, when the bad is smacking you in the face.

Respect the person if you can't respect the decisions they make.

Let go if you must. Hold on if you can.

Forgive in your heart even if you can't say the words.

Make peace with what you can't change.

Listen to the opinions of others but never forget its their opinion.

Stand by your choices rather than defend your actions.

These are the things I have realized. These are things I have learned and will follow them to the letter.

I'm turning over a new leaf because the old one is just too dirty.

It's a Blog Kind of Day

... Those were the words sent to me by someone I love dearly and who is a friend and mentor to me.  Maybe she's right. It is good for the soul.

 Let's see what to write? There's been so much that has happened. I could easily use this vehicle as a way to express "my side of things", but then I would be doing the very thing I have been avoiding all along, picking sides.

I guess all I can say is that throughout the past year, I did what I thought was best in the interest of everyone and that includes me. Yes. I most certainly made decisions that would be best for me that may not have made others comfortable or happy with those choices, but I can't live every moment for others. It's not done out of malice, or personal gain. It's what is in my heart.  

I didn't choose one person over another.  Nor did I choose a group over another either. I tried to keep a healthy balance , but when your loyalty is constantly being tested and scrutinized rather than accepted it makes it hard to maintain a friendship. When it is no longer fun and neither side is happy then why stay together?  It doesn't make sense. People change for a whole host of reasons. I accept that, but I expect the same acceptance when I tell you that the person you have become is not a person I would have ever had a relationship with to begin with.

As I write this blog I am realizing how cryptic I am trying to make it in order to not air our dirty laundry. Most will know who and what I am talking about so it seems stupid to try and talk in riddles. We both know what is fact and what is fiction. Neither of us is any picnic to deal with. Strong personalities, emotions run high. etc, etc. What I'm not sure is clear is the bottom line as to why I walked away. It has nothing to do with choosing to be friends with the perceived "enemy". It had everything to do with your actions and I'm not going to go any deeper than that here, because as I was continuing to write I realized that my emotions and frustration were getting the best of me and what I really want to say isn't meant for my blog readers but for you individually and sadly, you don't want to hear it.

Lastly, if I'm being brutally honest, the loss of our friendship is sad, but the loss of a few others who never even bothered to talk to me about what was going on and indiscriminately just took sides bothers me more. I never gave any reason for anyone to assume I am anything but genuine. My actions have been honest and deliberate and without malice. Taking her word and only her word pretty much tells me that you never thought much of me to begin with so I guess in hindsight it's good that your gone. I would have been open to a discussion so you could see where I'm coming from, but I guess this was very convenient for you. It was a quick way out.

I was reminded by the person who told me to write this today that I have wonderful supportive friends and that's what matters. I have a great family, and wonderful partner in life. I will always be disappointed at how people chose to handle this situation, but I will not apologize for doing what I felt was right. Everyone has a story that deserves to be heard. Everyone deserves respect.  This was never about me choosing. It was about life going on and people changing and how we all handle it. You made your choice. I made mine. 

The End.

I wrote a blog today

I wrote a blog today, but I can't share it.
It is personal.
It is the truth as I see it.
It would not be well received. Those in denial rarely accept the truth.

I wrote a blog today but this time it's just for me.

What's Goin on?

 

The past week was an emotional roller coaster for so many. Boston was terrorized, Texas suffered a horrific accident and in China was literally shaken.  These were the headlines across the nation and the world in the past week. It makes a person wonder "What's Goin on?"

The bombing in Boston is a sad horrible senseless act done by some sick and demented individuals. I don't pretend to know their motives or their affiliations if any. I stick to the simple facts at hand. Two men murdered 4 innocent people and maimed and injured upwards of 200 people all in the name of their religious beliefs.  I don't want to write a big long blog about the act itself. My purpose here today is to share what I keep telling myself each and every day to get through. I read this tweet by a young Muslim girl.

Makes sense to me. I sure as hell wouldn't want the entire Christian community to be judged based on the actions of the crazies in the Westboro Baptist Church.

What the world is going through today is scary. It makes me want to give up on humanity. I want to home school my son and never let him leave the house. I think about every major sporting event and wonder is this going to be the next attack? Then I take a deep breath and remember that the actions of a few do not define the lives of billions.  Yes, there are bad people in this world but they are outweighed by the good. The generosity of those around the world who have performed selfless acts of kindness in Newtown, Boston, and Texas.  I read a link today on buzzfeed that showed 44 amazing acts of kindness throughout the world to help the victims or to at the very least show solidarity in this great country that we live in.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/images-that-perfectly-capture-the-american-spirit

We can not let the actions of bad people define our entire life. We can not let fear dictate our actions. We can not let the bad guys win. We are a nation of superheros.  When the Westboro Baptist Church tried to picket military funerals, off duty military personnel, bikers and citizens create walls to prevent them from disturbing the mourners.  That's a superhero.  When the children of Newtown were under fire by a madmen, the staff didn't run they protected their children and some died for it.  They are superheros. Millions of people donated to funds and other projects to help these families move forward from this tragedy. Yup, superheros.  When Boston became a warzone, runners ran to the hospital to give blood, spectators ran TO the victims to help. There images abound of people helping people. In Texas, volunteers from all over were making their way to the wreckage to help with the recovery. Children setting up lemonade stands to raise money. This is what we are about. This is what we should remember. We are not a nation falling apart. We are a nation standing strong against those who would do us harm.

This might sound hokey. I'm not naive. I know this world is in the crapper in many ways, but we can't give up. We can't give in. There is a whole lot of evil in this world and it gets covered 24 hours a day on television and can be accessed whenever you want. I think we tend to focus on the negatives and take for granted all that is good.  

Be kind, be generous, don't rush to judge or place blame before you have the facts. Stand up for what you believe in but think before you speak. It is the little things that make a difference in this world. It only takes the small deeds of the masses to impact the world. 

I hope we never see another tragedy like 9/11, Newtown, Boston, Texas and all those that came before, but if we do we will overcome.

We are strong!

United we MUST stand

I started to write about what happened today.  I have alot of feelings about it. As do you all, but I have decided to wait until we know more.  So with that said, I will say this.

Slow Down
Don't rush to judgement.
Before you facebook, tweet or whatever it is you do make sure the information you are sharing is credible.
Avoid the blame game. We don't know who did it.  "They" can be anyone and "They" are not everyone that looks a certain way or wears a certain type of clothing.
Talk to your children.  Your terrified, imagine how they feel?
Look at the positive.  The footage shows people, many many people running towards the explosion to help people they may have never met in their life.  Runners who were not at the scene at the time of the explosion literally ran to local hospitals to donate blood. That is America. That is what the human race does. With every evil there is good.  The impact of what an evil group of people does impacts us greatly but it does not define us as a people.
The next couple of days will be hard for us as a nation. Take a deep breath and remember to be kind to your neighbors, your friends, your family.

Don't let "THEM" take anymore than they already did today.

We are good, we are kind, we are grateful, we are loving, we are compassionate, we are caring. We are what this world is truly about.  Don't let today define us.

♫♫Oohh Ohh Ladies First Ladies First♫♫♫

I said from day one it would be a Woman's competition this year. I wonder if they got sick of the boys winning year after year because the choices they made for men this year could not compete with the talent of the woman. No way. No How.

A couple weeks back I did my American Idol Predictions and for the most part I was right but I do have some changes to make,but before I do I want to give my opinion on the last few weeks of the show.

Anyone who knows me knows my opinion of Nicky Minaj. I think she is talentless and has made herself a celebrity through her bad fashion and bad attitude.  Her whole shtick is being this hard ass who tells it like it is. Here's the thing. She has been right A LOT. It pains me to admit it but it's true.  AI has the judges who have the pedigree to back what they are saying, Nicky's opinions are that of someone who loves music and knows what the industry wants. She is not a great performer but she knows how to work the industry because look where she is. She made a "mistake" of sorts or maybe the producers did because when Burnell got eliminated they showed her talking to him behind the scenes and her guard was down. Her stupid fake accent was gone and she was teary eyed talking to him. She clearly cares about these kids.  Bottom line is she wants to be the "Simon Cowell" of the group.  No one does nasty like Simon.

Predictions

My predictions have shifted.
                                                        The Next to go home is:Amber Holcomb
Amber has a really good voice. She is beautiful and marketable. I have issues with her pitch still and her song choice is not always smart. She has definitely overcome some of her confidence issues but she isn't able to connect with the audience.  She reminds me of former Idol, Pia Toscano who had one of the best voices in the competition but she just wasn't winning over the audience.  Amber suffers from the same issue.  I would be pleasantly surprised if she were to succeed beyond her Idol experience.

Then we will say goodbye to: Janelle Arthur
Janelle has really blossomed in this competition. In her own words not wanting to be a "one trick pony". She has shown diversity, and some truly heartfelt performances. Her acoustic arrangement of "You keep me Hangin on" was her WOW moment. She will absolutely be welcomed with open arms into the world of country music and could have moderate to great success like the Kellie Pickler that came before

My Top 3 

Angie Miller-  I had originally thought she would win the whole competition, but she has some maturing to do.  She will absolutely be making a Christian Rock Album in the near future and former Idol Alum, Colton Dixon will probably write a better part of that album.  She has trouble connecting with songs and people.  She has a huge fan base with fans of Christian Rock and many young girls who probably don't even realize that may of her songs are religious in nature.  She will finish 3rd.


Here's where it is literally ANY ONE'S GAME


Kree Harrison and Candice Glover are two very different singers, with 2 things in common. They know what kind of singer they are, and they are confident in who they are as women. They are two of the elder women in this competition.  They have about 5 years on Angie Miller and Amber Holcomb.  At this point in the competition it is all about song choice. Last week Candice blew the roof off the theater with her rendition of Lovesong.  It was exactly what she needed to shoot to the top.  The arrangement and her delivery were flawless.  Kree has been solid each and every week and her choice to sing acapella in the intro of "What the World Needs Now is Love" was a stellar move on her part. She showed the world the true purity of her voice without the music setting the tone.

If I HAD to make a choice on who will win I am going to go with Candice.  I think the power in her voice is always received well by the general public. People like BIG voices because it's not common and and it leaves a lasting impression.

Who do I WANT to win? Kree.  I think she is ready to make an album today and just needs the machine that is American Idol to get her to the next level.  She is radio ready, Concert tour ready and best of all she is  truly grateful, and humble about her ability and new found fame. She is always the first to thank the band or the arrangers for her performances.  I hope she never loses that.

So there you have it. Let's see if I'm right.

Thanks for reading.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Keep it positive!

I know that sometimes its easier said than done, but in reality it only benefits you. I'm not going to preach about how you must be positive all the time and look at the bright side! There are moments in our lives that positivity is harder to see than other and as human beings we can't be expected to be positive all the time. When I lost my father, the first few days I saw nothing positive in that whatsoever, The perfect father was taken from me, the perfect grandfather taken from my son and the perfect husband from my mother. Where is the bright side in that? I'll tell you where it is.  My father didn't suffer. That is a positive. He went to sleep and never woke up. I spoke to him the night before and have no regrets in the relationship I had with him. That's a positive.  He was there for my son for 12 years. That's a positive. See? Sometimes the positives are not staring you in the face. Sometimes you might have to dig through the rubble to find them.

Financial woes weigh on my mind most of the time. I am a paycheck to paycheck kind of person and whenever anything "unexpected" occurs its a mad scramble to figure how to handle it. This is a source of stress for me most days. Like many other people in the world.   The positive? I figure it out. Somehow, some way, I figure it out. I am grateful for the friends who have bailed me out whether it be as a gift or a loan. I am grateful that I have a job, a home, a car, and food in the fridge.  Maybe it's not steak and lobster but there are people who are way worse than me. I stay positive.

Illness is a heavy burden to bear. Cancer, heart disease, depression, migraines, reoccurring illnesses like colds, flu, and all the other strange things that are out there plaguing us.  It's a challenge to remain positive when you are simply sick of being sick. Be grateful you are here. Be grateful that there are doctors, and medicines that can help with the symptoms. Be grateful for the loved ones that stand by you. Don't get mired in your own misery so deep that you can't see beyond it.

Do something! Get out of our own way. Look around you at all the wonderful things in your life that give you reason to be positive. It can be the obvious things like your family, friends, your pets, your job or your hobbies. Or maybe you have to dig a little deeper.  Maybe its the flowers in the yard, the bird singing in the tree, the vacation you have planned at the end of the year, the new outfit you can't wait to wear or the card that came in the mail from a friend. 

I know it's hard. I have been there. I have been down and out and wallowing in the misery, but did anything change? No. Do I want to pitied? No.  Do you think that by displaying your negativity and misery for all to see is going to inspire someone to jump up and help you if they can? No.  I have been supported the most during the toughest of times because people around me saw that above all I was trying. Trying to do the best I could with what I have.

You hold the Power to be positive. You can be strong. You can be happy. No one is going to "make you happy" and no one is has the power to "tear you down" unless you give it to them.

Today, take a moment and make a list of the positive things in your life and keep that list somewhere close and the next time you feel the power of negativity taking over your life or you are dealing with a challenge you don't think you can handle look at that list and go to that place of gratefulness. It may not change what you are going through but it surely will give you perspective.

♥

I am a Catholic Lesbian

Most people I know are pretty much sick of the debate as a whole. I am too but the reality is until there is equality the topic is very much alive.  It affects so many, even my son has a strong opinion and it sparked a conversation between us. He is still researching where his belief system best fits. He asked me what I think. I said it's very hard because I was raised Catholic. I have come to find that I believe in certain aspects of the Catholic religion but there is no way I would ever go back to the Catholic Church.  I told my son the very true life story of a very good friend of mine who is a very happy woman living with the love of her life and they are both Catholic.  Devout Catholics. oh and they are gay.  Brandon asked me "How does that work?" I replied with ya know, I have been asking myself that question to."  So I reached out to her and delicately asked her if she would mind answering that question. I told her that if I offended her in the least to disregard my question and forget I ever asked. She, as the wonderful person she is not only answered me but also said I could share her story. However, to protect their privacy I am leaving out some details and omitting names.

Here is how a Lesbian couple maintain their relationship with God.

I know that some people are 'born gay' (still not sure about that, but whatever)....and some people find themselves feeling or figuring it out as they go along.I can tell you that myself and my loving partner are of the latter camp. I mean, I seriously dated (and almost married) a guy who I thought was 'the one'. She did get married-only to ultimately realize he was a self centered, mentally abusive douchebag who only cares for himself and viewed her as nothing more than his property.Sorry to ramble a bit, but I am trying to come to it...in the case of us, we were both raised Catholic and still very much consider ourselves 'faith-ful'....being in a same sex relationship has zero bearing on our individual relationship with God.  God doesn't see us as anything more than his creations of pure love. Jesus Christ himself commanded us all to love one another as he loves us. Not in the sense of death on the cross, but more to the fact of not judging and wholly accepting and in return unassuming key giving LOVE.To understand that God only wants our happiness and our unconditional love to him and those around us is really all that true 'faith' is about. It's the ego of man that twists God's true nature to suit man's own purpose and justification of what he wants others to believe and follow with him.I'm not devaluing the orders of the Old Covenant, but what the church is hung up on is what they think (and want) to say is 'God's will'. What they are forgetting (conveniently), is that when Jesus came to earth, he clearly stated that HE was the NEW Covenant-not that the old one was unimportant, just that he was redesigning the rules of the game...and why can't he, he *IS* God.So while mankind still thinks that they can tell everyone how to act, the truth is, if you are a follower of God, then your relationship is with God-not man.  You want to always remember to be good and kind and obedient to God (and in that sense to others), but man doesn't judge your actions-God does.I know I'm rambling...but I do have a point in here somewhere.My faith is rooted in my relationship directly with God-I'm not ashamed of who I have found myself to be, but through my relationship with the Almighty I have learned that as long as I and my soul mate and partner in life and love put love and trust in the good, we will live in God's grace and be rewarded-both in this life and the next.I don't disrespect the laws of my church, but I have prayed and studied and spoken to different people...and I have felt God within me and around me, I know that he blesses my choice and that his love for me is something that NO ONE can change except me.

So for me, this about sums it up in the best way possible. There is nothing more for me to comment about.

Be Good, Be Kind, Love, Be Generous, Be honest. Be the best person you can be.

Marry whoever the F*CK you want.

Before I was going to start typing this blog I was going to do some research and quote some facts and blah blah blah but really if you know me this blog is more about how I feel and my opinions on things so I am going to stick with that.

Marriage.

This word represents alot of things to many people.

Merriam Webster's definition which was updated in 2003 define it as:

the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage

Kudos to them.  

I don't see the big deal. I really don't see it. I time and time again am the first one to admit that when it comes to politics I am ignorant and uninterested because I feel everyone's personal and political agendas prevent them from making impartial decisions that positively affect us all.  With that said, I have to address it to some degree.  It has always been my understanding that there is supposed to be a separation of church and state. So why are states and the government concerned with who we marry? 

If it is a binding contract signed between two consensual adults who will be financially responsible for any assets they purchase including taxes cuz with big government it's always about taxes then why do they care who a person marries?  It should be a non issue when it comes to the ability to get legally married.  Two people, man and woman, man and man or woman and woman should be able to obtain a marriage license, have a ceremony in the church, synagogue, temple, courthouse, or any other venue and celebrate the joyous occasion. As long as the couples follow the laws associated with living in a civil society that should be all they are concerned with.

As for the churches and the radicals that come with them, I say this, your God, higher power, or spiritual advisor may tell you that same sex marriage is an abomination, well that is your opinion and you can have it, but in no way shape or form should your religious beliefs give you a license to hate or to try and influence laws to stop Gay Marriage.  Any person who is in a same sex relationship more than likely isn't a member of your bigoted church to begin with. You believe what you want and let people live.

What is going on today is no different than how we treated black Americans for decades.  Interracial marriage wasn't allowed until 1967. Today, it's common place. In 2010 4.8 million interracial marriages  UCLA did a study in 2011 that cites there are 9 million gay, lesbian and transgender Americans.  These are people. People who were born gay, just like I was born white and you were born whatever race you are.  (ok so i did get a couple of facts)

I just don't see it. I don't know why this is an issue. These are human beings we are talking about. People who work, live, love, and are members of this society who deserve the same rights as any other person walking this planet. 

If you do not believe in gay marriage, so be it. I bet you don't believe in alot of things.  I don't believe in alot of things but I am sure as hell not trying to prevent you from doing them. These are basic human rights. The right to get married and share your life with someone is not a privilege. It is a right. A right of every man and woman. Your personal feelings on it mean nothing. If we made decisons for the world based on personal opinions, slaves wouldn't be free and women wouldn't have the right to vote. 

I am a heterosexual female in a loving relationship and I can get married any time I so choose. I want that for my friends, my family. The people in my life who I see every day living amazing lives with the loves of their life. 

I don't expect you all to agree with me. Opinions are what make us individuals.   What I do expect is that everyone recognizes on a basic human level that we are all entitled to the same rights regardless of who we lay down with at night.  

Look at your husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend tonight and think about how you would feel if one day you were told, Sorry you are not allowed to marry this person, or take legal responsibility for them in their time of need because we don't believe in your relationship.  Look at your children tonight and think about how you would feel if there were laws that said you can't have children because we don't recognize the relationship you are in.  

It's not a good feeling is it?  

This isn't one of my more eloquently written blogs, but that is because when I am really pissed off the fancy words just escape me because it's taking all my energy to not use the F Word in every other sentence.

   

Find your peace

I literally just deleted the blog I wrote, because I realized it was not fair to express my opinions about a person without giving them the opportunity to respond to them. Even though I tried to keep it vague and leave out names and places it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was based on how I was telling the story so I am changing gears and putting it down this way.

Change is inevitable. Struggle is optional.
Lives have been altered forever.
The family has been altered.
It will never be how it once was.
The new normal is here.
No one likes it, but we have no other option but to accept it.
If you really look back on the last few years, you weren't even that close to me.
Of course I cared about you. You were a friend but sadly, your perception of the relationships you had with me goes much deeper than mine.
No one left you out of anything.
The things you once were a part of aren't there anymore.
We have all gone our separate ways to some degree.
Death, illness, divorce, new jobs have dictated a shift in how we used to do things.
It was never done TO you. It was never even about you and I wish you could see that.
I challenge you to write down the number of times in which you were with any one of us outside a social situation.
I bet you can count them on your hand.
This is not to hurt you.
It's an attempt to make you understand.
You have to stop dwelling on the past.
Your new "strong" persona is a facade that no one believes.
If you are truly getting help then continue on that path because it is what you need.
You will not and shall not drag me down into the depression you are in over the loss.
It has taken every ounce of strength we have to get to this point.
I don't hate you.
I want the best for you.
The best for you is to move on because this life was never really you.
It was your connection to him.
It allowed you to hang on.
You don't need forgiveness. You did nothing wrong.
You have romanticized the relationship you had with us.
I wish I could understand where it comes from.
I won't make any assumptions.
Your feelings are real.
You are allowed to have them.
And I am allowed to not subject myself to it.
Im not sorry for the decision to cut you out of my life.
I am sorry that you don't see that in the grand scheme it is the best thing for you.
Find peace my friend.

Heavy Hearts ♥♥

I have a heavy heart today for my friends who lost someone dear to them.I have a heavy heart today for my friend who buried her grandmother today.I have a heavy heart for someone who filed for divorce today.

Heavy Heart is a really good term. It truly expressed my feelings.  I'm ok enough to go about my daily routine and live my life and smile and joke and be me, but looming is this heaviness that sometimes I forget is there and then suddenly it returns and I am reminded of the sadness those that I care for are going through.

The older I get the reality of death, illness, divorce becomes so much more a part of our lives. I guess that is the getting old thing. I don't like it. So I have a heavy heart.

To my friends who lost someone dear yesterday.

You are fortunate enough to have the family that you do that you can be together during this time of loss and share the memories, laugh and cry. Remember what an amazing man he was and honor him every day in everything you do. He was a great man, adoring father, and a wonderful friend. 

To my friend who said goodbye to her grandmother today.

She finally rests in peace, not confused in her own body.  Able to think clearly and be free of all that held her to this earth. She was ready to go and you were there for her through it all. She is the reason that you exist and your children exist and the legacy will continue long after we are gone. 

To my friend who filed for divorce today.

We don't always get the happy ending we thought we would, but you my dear are indeed living a happy life. You have beautiful children, an amazing support system and a light that could illuminate the darkest of days. Never doubt who you are based on the ending of a marriage. It takes two people devoted to the marriage and the family they created. Clearly you have done just that. Don't give up. Never give up. 

My heart is heavy but tomorrow is another day and yes some days will be better than others and we will face more trials and lose more friends and make changes we wish he didn't have to it is all part of the journey that we have on this earth and if we stop trying than the journey ends.  

Take care my friends.

My 2013 American Idol Top 10

After watching American Idol for over a decade I decided this year I would share with my thoughts and predictions. Of course my predictions will totally get blown out of the water because America sometimes is just plain crazy. So here we go. I am counting down to who I think will be there in the end.

Lazaro Arbos

I have been saying this since his first audition. Lazaro has a "nice" voice and sometimes he has a very solid performance, but all in all he is mediocre.  His STORY his what is extraordinary and makes for good TV. I can guarantee you that the only reason he made it to the TOP 10 was because the judges were forced to put him through so that America would have the chance to vote for him.  He is inspiring but is he really going to a star? Nope.

   

Paul Jolley
Vanilla.  Paul Jolley's voice is pleasant, he is a handsome guy. He definitely has talent, but there is nothing about him that stands out. He is Vanilla and for a guy that says he has never sang a show tune in his life he sure has the theatrics that fit right in so he may want to re-think his career goals. 

Janelle Arthur
The weakest of all the girls in my opinion. Janelle's look is what will keep her in this competition long after her true expiration date unless of course she has a really bad song choice in the coming weeks.  She would make a fine country singer, but not sure she is a country star.  There is a difference. You will most likely see her making a living in the Nashville bar circuit rather than a hit on country radio.  

Devin Velez 

This kid has a great shot at being a Latin star. His wheelhouse is absolutely the whole Spanish music scene.  There is a clarity and pureness to his voice that is really only shining when he is singing in Spanish. He also has a maturity to him that most 18 year olds do not have this early in the game. I don't think he has a chance in hell at being in the Top 3 , but I do believe he will make a name for himself in the Latin Music Industry. Maybe J-Lo will sign him.

Burnell Taylor
There is no arguing Burnell can sing and being a Louisiana boy he will be in this competition for a while and maybe longer than he truly deserves. His fans will vote and vote often He's a kid and he has years to perfect his craft. He is another one that I just don't see that star power like a Joshua Ledet from season 11.

Amber Holcomb
A beautiful girl with an above average voice, but suffers from confidence issues that she must conquer in order to stay in this competition. I'm amazed that the judges have blatantly disregarded her multiple pitch issues.I'm thinking she is a judge fave and by judge I mean Randy.  Amber is just another really good voice but lacks the overall stage presence that we are used to seeing.  

Curtis Finch Jr.
Every year we have that one contestant that brings the "Jesus" to the competition. In pure Fantasia Barrino Fashion we have Curtis Finch Jr. who is this year's Joshua Ledet who ended up 3rd in Season 11 so I predict Curtis will be a Top 5 Contestant for sure. He's not a favorite of mine, but I recognize the sheer vocal prowess he has. He needs to reduce the amount of "runs" in his songs and keep the vocal pure.

Kree Harrison
It's no secret I love this girl. Her voice is angelic. She is clearly at home on the stage. I cheated and 

checked out some original music and live performances pre-idol and all I can say is that regardless where she finishes in this competition and I am saying she will finish 3rd, she will be successful. She has been making the Nashville rounds for a few years now. This is the push she needs to get noticed. A Kree Harrison album will drop in 2014.

Candice Glover
This is the powerhouse of this year's competition. She has had some flawless performances and performances with flaws. As a big voice myself, the pitfall is letting the emotion of the song push you too far and your belting of the song becomes almost a yell, but that's a minor critique for a girl who clearly owns this competition. Candice will finish second and keep reading to find out why.

                                                        

                                                       
                                                         Angie Miller

Angie pretty much sealed her Idol win with her original song that every teenage girl has ripped off of YouTube and on to their iPod ten minutes after it aired on Fox.  Angie has the talent, the looks and at 18 years old she is young enough to be exactly what American Idol wants her to be. Angie has a YouTube channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/AngieKristineMiller.  Covers done professionally in studio that millions of kids and adults like me have already watched and are Angie converts.  The pop world wants their own Taylor Swift. A singer/songwriter that can relate to the masses. They have it with Angie and on top of it all she is a Christian girl who performs in front of thousands at youth conventions. She has single handedly locked up the teenage girl vote and the christian community.  I would be extremely surprised if she didn't win.  It's her competition to lose right now.

So that's it. That's my prediction from the first to go to the last one standing. As always, there are twists, turns, bad song choices and the fact that sometimes the voters are so sure their pick will win that they give their pity votes to less deserving contestants and thereby causing the elimination (Chris Daughtry) or almost elimination (Jessica Sanchez) wayyyy to early in the competition. 

I will say that the contestants in 2013 are by far the weakest we have ever seen and if Ryan Seacrest or any of those judges try to say otherwise I will tweet them to death until they take it back.  I don't know what happened this year. Maybe Steven and J-Lo were stronger judges, maybe behind the scenes production failed to deliver the contestants to the judges. Whatever it is. They need to fix it for 2014.  

As far Icky Minaj.  I can only hope that this is her freshman and drop out year.  I can't live through another year of pink wigs, English accents and whining.  She is killing this show slowly.  

Thanks for reading.  You can find me on twitter each week talking all things Idol under the screen name redreign1800.

Davis... OUT (remember when Seacrest used to say that, guess that catch phrase died).

LIVE, LOCAL and ASS KICKING... NO MORE

An end of an era is upon us. WCCC the Rock 106.9 has gone the way of so many radio stations before them. The backlash continues. Goodbye Godsmack, System of a Down, Pantera and oh so many more. Hello to the softer side of rock. BLECH.  Some hold out hope that they will see the error of their ways; others have abandoned terrestrial radio for satellite or internet radio. I am one of those converts myself.

Admittedly, I had converted about a month before WCCC pulled the trigger and murdered its former self in order to save itself according to the Management at Marlin Broadcasting. Why did I leave before the end was actually here? I saw the cracks and quite honestly I was bored and needed some variety.  That is the benefit of internet radio. You are your own programmer. The negative of course is that you don’t always know what’s new; you miss out on the latest concert information and the connection to the local music scene.

Back to what this blog is about. The demise of WCCC.  The fans say they sold out; WCCC management’s position is that in order to stay in business they need to cater to an older crowd, “older” being my demographic but then again not quite. They are targeting the 40+ male demographic. Why? Well I don’t have the official reason but if I had to make a guess on what they are thinking here it is.

WCCC for years has been a hard rock station whose listeners tended to be males 18-25 years of age. I say tended because this does not make up the whole demographic of listeners it is just what the majority was.  The cold hard truth and you can argue it all you want is that this age bracket typically isn’t buyers. They aren’t listening to advertising and then purchasing products and services based on what they hear on WCCC.  Columbia Dental and New Balance certainly didn’t get an influx of customers based on their commercials being played 10 times a day.  I don’t see 22 year old males spending thousands of dollars to whiten their teeth or get braces. They are saving their pennies to hit the packy and the next concert.  It just wasn’t working. Do I think that WCCC could have done a better job in this area? Yes, and oh by the way they canned Johnny Promo a few months ago so clearly they knew they had a problem. I think the biggest issue is that it was too far gone.

I am not for one second insinuating that all people in the 18-25 age range don’t spend money in areas other than booze and partying, but what I am saying is that there just wasn’t enough of them to sustain the business and apparently those of us who aren’t considered in the demographic of the old WCCC programming weren’t spending enough either. 

With that said, this is only one aspect of why I think WCCC decided to strip from us the music and jocks that we love. Radio is a vicious business. You are there one minute and gone the next. WCCC is one of the few radio stations left that isn’t owned by a huge conglomerate that owns a multitude of stations. WCCC is owned by Marlin Broadcasting, LLC a company who has had a few different ventures and after trying to find some research on exactly what they currently own I was unable to find any information I was comfortable in quoting.  Radio is a political animal in which if you aren’t with the “winning” team you may not have a job tomorrow and let’s be real ladies and gentlemen there isn’t much out there for radio personalities today. The age of digital playlists and non-commercial radio has all but made them obsolete.  So you can’t blame people for trying to keep their jobs.   

I applaud the people who created the Save the Rock Facebook page especially because I see the page evolving from an attempt to save WCCC and more into saving the music. The music they love by keeping the fans up dated on the latest concert info and music. 

As sad is it is to see the days of LIVE LOCAL and ASS KICKING give way for the greatest hits of Dave Mathews and Journey, the reality is technology, money, greed, the state of our economy and poor management have taken down the last great radio station we had here in Connecticut.  So now my friends we are forced to find other avenues.  Here are some for you to take a look and listen.

www.cygnusradio.com
Cygnus Radio was founded in February of 2005 to promote independent music in a way that is friendly and accommodating for listeners, artists, and staff members. No one person could accomplish this, but a dedicated and passionate team …
Artists who make such fantastic music
Radio hosts who bring it to you in such a way that you care about it
Technicians who build the site and without whom there would be no means of bringing it to you

www.spotify.com
Spotify is a commercial music streaming service providing DRM-protected[citation needed] content from a range of major and independent record labels, including Sony, EMI, Warner Music Group and Universal.

www.pandora.com
Pandora Internet Radio (also known as Pandora Radio or simply Pandora) is an automated music recommendation service and "custodian" of the Music Genome Project. The service, operated by Pandora Media, Inc., is fully available in the United States, Australia and New Zealand. The service plays musical selections of a certain genre based on the user's artist selection. The user then provides positive or negative feedback for songs chosen by the service, which are taken into account when Pandora selects future songs.

And of course

www.radio1041.fm

Although Radio 104.1 doesn’t exactly provide the hard rocking music we love so much it does have its moments and you can find WCCC Alum, Holden Johnson doin his thing and doin it well.

By far my longest blog ever, but I had to share my thoughts and suggestions with you all.

Wherever you go for your music remember to support the artists who make it all possible. Support Live, Local Music wherever and whenever you can. 

You know what music does for you. It’s your therapist, your lover, your friend, and your confidante. RESPECT THE MUSIC.

Just "Be"

So I am annoyed and irritated. Not sure it's really directed at any one person or situation. Just annoyed in general I guess.

Finding it hard to be tolerant. Tolerance has never been my strong suit. I am aware of this deficiency. Most days I have it under control. I choose silence over tolerance. This way I am not living a lie. I am just choosing not to push my opinions on the situation at the time.

It seems to me that too many people spend too much time looking for reasons to be angry or sad.  Seeking out drama rather than steering away. I hate the word drama so much because it is used so damn much. Everyone talks about drama. Ironically it's usually the people who are causing it that discuss it most.

Why is it so hard to just "be". Let go of the negative and embrace the positive. I realize that some situations require your attention but if you sat down and pondered things awhile I bet you could free yourself of a lot more than you realize.  Chaos becomes part of the norm and dare I say like a drug. I know this first hand.

Today, at almost 40 years old, I'm tired.  I can't imagine being on "the edge" every day. Always waiting for the next text, call or facebook post to send me into a tizzy. Don't get it twisted ( i love that saying). I still get caught up in the trap on occasion. Catch me on a bad day and someones facebook post can send me into a tirade but I do try and control myself and remember that its my choice on how I handle a situation and is it really worth my time? Once in a while it sure is, but usually no. Not at all.

For those of you that don't know me well you might be reading this and saying what a hypocrite because I deal with alot of drama. I don't actually. I deal with life and I make the best of it. Alot of challenges have occurred in my life the past few years with death among family and friends, accidents, divorces, health scares etc.  True it does seem like a lot. I didn't exactly bring it upon myself.  The only downside to having an extremely large circle of close friends in your life is the law of averages. The more people you surround yourself with the more "life stuff" happens. It can't be avoided. It is part of, well, LIFE.  I like to think that I handle myself in the best way possible and don't plaster my tales of woe all over the Internet. I share. I sure do because the majority of the people on my facebook are the same people impacted by what I am going through.

This post today is really just me rambling. I'm in a weird place today. Not sure why. Things are good. My life is good. Things can always be better but they could always be worse.

I guess my goal here is that some of you will read this and maybe see yourself in some of the words and make a change that is good for you. Chaos, drama, the continuous need to be "in the know" will never be healthy for anyone. It won't extend your life or improve the quality of it.

Happiness is the key to longevity. That and a dog (but that's another blog).  If we all took care of our own house and didn't worry so much about everyone else's this world,  virtual and real would be a happier place to be.

One last note. I truly didn't write this blog with any one person in mind. Several came to mind for various reasons. This is not a passive aggressive stab at any one person it was nothing more than a conscious stream of thoughts about the state of my life these days and the people in it but if you thought for one second that it was solely written about you  than this blog was ABSOLUTELY WRITTEN ABOUT YOU.

Peace, Love, and Rock n Roll

Til we meet again

Another Year Dad

I write about my dad on his birthday every year. I probably say the same stuff over and over again. I really don't care. Although I appreciate everyone reading my blogs the simple fact is I write for me. The public reaction is just a bonus.

I woke up this morning and didn't realize until I got to work what day it was. My day started pretty normal except for the phone call from Brandon that he couldn't go to school because my mom's dogs got skunked and everything including him smelled skunky.

Got to work and then it was like BAM. Oh wait today is his bday.

Donald R. Davis would have been 66 today. He was born March 1, 1947. He was born and raised in Southington. The town he loved.  He worked hard, played hard. He was kind and generous. He was outgoing and funny. Many say I am a lot like my dad and that is the ultimate compliment.  We didn't have much in the early years but I never knew that because he never let it affect me.

There is alot I could write about my dad but honestly it's just too hard still. Someday I am going to write down every memory and all my thoughts on my amazing father, but not yet. Just too soon.

Miss you every day dad. EVERY SINGLE DAY

RIP Boys- Gone too soon

When the Amber Alert went off last night while Brian and I were watching television. I stopped, I listened and waited for the details as I always do to make sure I don't know the parties involved and to just be aware because you never know.  I admittedly don't worry as much when I hear its a family member or custodial parent, because the kids are rarely in danger. It's usually just someone who didn't get the kids back in time from a scheduled visit or decided they are taking off with their child. I am not condoning those instances, I'm just saying for the most part the kids are not in danger.

Today is a very different day. Alton and Ashton Perry went to daycare like I'm sure any normal day, but their day would end very differently. At the time of this writing there is not real answer as to why their Grandmother did what she did. The parents stated that the grandmother, Debra Denison suffered from mental illness and owned a gun.  Details will emerge in the coming hours and days and possibly weeks. 

I won't judge those parents for letting their mother/mother in law pick up the children. I don't know that I would have made the same choices but I am not a part of these peoples lives. I do not know what goes on in this family's life.  You have to believe that the grandmother was doing well with her illness to some degree otherwise why on earth would the parents allow her to have that kind of access to them.

I guess we have to wait and see. Regardless of the outcome. It doesn't matter if the parents were negligent or the Grandmother was mentally ill. No amount of commentary, blame, or speculation can bring back these children.

Take the time to take stock of the people in your life and be vigilant when it comes to the interaction they have with you and your family.  It may be tough on a family dynamic to set limits on the interactions between you and those family members or friends that are closest to you but for the safety of you and your children it's important to not turn a blind eye to anything.

RIP Alton and Ashton. A very sad day for your parents, and other relatives but as for you both you are free.

No its TRUE. I saw it on the Internet

In my generation, yes I am getting to that age where I talk about "my generation", our parents taught us about gossiping and spreading rumors that weren't true.  In my generation, you had to call people on the phone or spread the propaganda in person so you had to think twice because the blame is all on you.
 Those days are OVER.

Today, you can post just about anything you want on the Internet and through the magic of photoshop you can make anything LOOK real.  The REALity is that half of what is "shared" on facebook or "googled" is propaganda. News that has been spun to benefit the author.  I don't know how many "Facts about Obama or Bush" I have read and after some research in to the article found half truths and misrepresentation in them.

So here is where YOU COME IN.

If you really care about the cause, the person, the animal, the illness, the politics, the tragedy that you just "reposted" while you were eating your lunch and drinking your latte then you would take the time to confirm it's validity.  Here are some common "shares" you ALL Need to be aware of

1.  Dr. will perform surgery on blah blah person if he gets 1,000 likes
   Who in their right mind HONESTLY thinks that a world renowned surgeon is hovering over his laptop anxiously waiting for that 1,000th like so that he can perform this life saving surgery on a deserving child?
   
2. APPLE is NOT giving away a free phone.
   Reposting a stock photo of IPhone's with your color choice will not get you a phone. At this point in iPhone's  monopoly of the technology do you honestly think this is remotely true?
   
3. LIKE this picture of a little girl with a bruise to her face if you are against child abuse.
   First of all I ain't "liking" any pictures of injured children or animals nor should you and why perpetuate a photo that is either photoshopped or of a real child who is not benefiting in any way shape or form from her pic being shared across the Internet.
   
4. POST this very long lawyer type disclaimer so that Facebook doesn't use your pictures or anything else for public use.
   People, you just posting a status will not stop this. There are privacy settings for that. READ
   
5. Facebook is going to charge us monthly unless you like this, post this or share this.
   As of today Facebook has never attempted to charge it's users and it makes BILLIONS in advertising. The advertisers promoting are their customers. FB NEEDS you, not your puny monthly charge.

I know there are plenty more that I could bullet but honestly I'm getting annoyed rehashing them in my mind so here goes a bit of a rant.

As far as political posts go, it's useless to try and reason with any of you. Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and whatever else the party du jour is.  If you support Obama you will repost every piece of news real or fake that flashes across your page that is pro Obama. If you hate Obama you will do the same. Neither side takes the time to research the information to ensure it's accuracy. NEITHER. And if you say you do you are a liar because you want people to believe what you believe when it comes to politics and if spreading misinformation recruits one more person to your "side" you will do it. So there's no point in trying to stop you. That's why I installed socialfixer.org to my FB page. This way I can hide all your political posts and not feel the need to research them all because it takes too much time, too much effort for you just to tell me that after hours of fact finding that my findings are wrong because they oppose your political beliefs.

As far as Jesus goes. I find it interesting that I never see posts from the Jewish Faith, the Hindus, the Buddhists, the followers of Allah,, etc. etc.  You get the idea. Only Jesus. Like this, share that and if you don't it means you don't love God.  People, don't let the sins of mortal men in the Catholic Church drive you to shove your religious beliefs down other peoples throats and for those true believers in God or Jesus Christ you already know that if you happen to miss reposting that really bad Jesus picture it doens't mean you are going to hell (probably purgatory for a bit j/k). If I don't "like this or share that" it doesn't mean I don't have faith it means I think your post is stupid and a waste of time.

Famous people are more important the soldiers who die every day.  NO, the men and women who give their lives everyday are NOT less important than when Whitney Houston died.  No one person is more important than another. HOWEVER, this is social media.  The passing of Whitney Houston was world wide news because she was KNOWN worldwide. She was a household name across the world. THAT's why you saw it everywhere because we "knew" her. When a soldier is lost it is a greater tragedy than someone like Whitney, however we don't KNOW them. We don't HEAR about them and that would be because  ladies and gentlemen it is a tragic, horrific and private event for families who DO NOT live their lives in the spotlight. Many families don't want photos of their husband, father, son, daughter, wife, mother splayed all over the net as a constant reminder and those that do spread the word and by the power of facebook it reaches your computer screen. Do you REALLY want to honor the fallen?  Go here http://militarytimes.com/valor/ or make a donation to wounded warriors, or other charities that focus on the brave men and women who have lost their lives for our freedom.  Don't have money? Donate your time to a local VA or have a food drive for homeless veterans.  The constant barrage of photos about the masses paying more attention to the deaths of celebrities versus our military is ridiculous in my mind. Raise awareness not propaganda.

BEFORE YOU POST about a missing child. Be responsible and verify its validity:

http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=4319

BEFORE YOU POST any news stories that look more like "stories" than news go here:

http://www.snopes.com/

You can search snopes with some key words to verify a story. For instance remember the whole Starbucks refusing to donate to soldiers. Check this article out from Snopes:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/starbucks.asp

The moral of this rant disguised as a blog today is that we are too lazy, too complacent and too trusting with what we "share" on social media. Be responsible. Think before you like, share or repost.  Don't be a gossip monger.  

Social Media outlets are a breeding ground for sick, pathetic people who use the Internet to bully, perpetuate  untruths and propaganda.  If any of these individuals had to stand before a group of people and recite their chain letters, hoaxes, pleas for help and explain the validity of their photoshopped pictures they would surely fall down and die. It's easy to hide behind the Internet. Don't be a party to it. 

Take responsibility for what you post.

Thanks. Now go ahead back to your pages and repost me ANOTHER picture of Obama in a turban cuz I haven't seen enough of those and the next one just might make me question his citizenship and don't forget to share that photo of the baby with a cleft lip because I heard the doctor won't operate til he gets 10,000 likes.

Thanks for reading. I look forward to the backlash :)

Love is....

What is Love?

Love is easy.
Love is hard.
Love is patience.
Love is kindness.
Love is understanding.
Love is forgiveness.
Love is compromise.
Love is generosity.
Love is forever.
Love is sacrifice
Love is saying goodbye when you don't want to let go.
Love is holding on tight when it would be easier to say goodbye.
Love is looking for the why and not the how.
Love is a gift not a right.
Love is always beautiful.
Love is for everyone.
Love can't be wrong. If it is then it isn't love.
Love is not obsession.
Love is not control.
Love is not blackmail.
Love is not power.
Love is not dark.
Love is for you.
Love is pure.
Love is honest.
Love is for me.
Love is beautiful.
Love is boundless.
Love is what makes our time on earth a better place to be.



LOVE the people in your life with your whole heart.

Happy Valentines Day.

Dear Rex Reed

Dear Mr. Reed,

You are what is wrong with the world. You are a severely insecure man whose reviews are insignificant and meaningless to the public at large. Does anyone honestly skip or see a movie based on your reviews? I think not. You know you are no longer relative to the entertainment industry so this was your last ditch effort to garner some attention. Are you happy with the outcome?

What I think the general public fails to see is that calling people fat, obese, lard ass, tractor size etc Is the same as saying fag or nigger yet it is still socially acceptable. The things I have been called in my 39 years of life are obscene. I have always been dumbfounded by people who are somehow offended by my fat appearance. How does this affect you? It's not like I leaned over and stole your dinner. I am not black nor am I gay but i can relate. I have been persecuted my entire life for my appearance and so when I heard about your review Mr. Reed I was reminded how asinine people truly can be and you use your very small amount of celebrity to perpetuate hate. Because that is all it is you clearly have a disdain for fat people or let me clarify fat women. Laugh if you will but I am a fat woman. I am a fat woman who is completely offended and disgusted by your words and shocked that a man of your education and background thought this was a good idea.

It's not ok ladies and gentlemen to verbally insult people because they are not a size two. Melissa Mcarthy is an accomplished actress and one of my favorites from back when she was on Gilmore Girls and her star has risen so much since then. She is funny, she is talented and she is beautiful and who the hell cares what size she is?

It saddens me in so many ways that in 2013 it's ok to make people or to try to make people feel bad about themselves because they are fat.

It's a struggle every day as an obese person and losing weight has been a losing battle for me for the Better part of 20 years so who are you to judge? I hope that you lose your job over this and if you don't it is safe to say you have lost credibility in the eyes of your peers, your fans and the general public. Nothing short of an apology can fix this.  If I were to ever lay eyes on you in person Mr. Reed I would be happy to discuss all the faults in flaws I perceive when I look at you.  Then again, no. I'm better than that.

So many prejudices in this world and its not socially acceptable so why should being fat be a target? Let us be the best we can be. Size does not apply.

Dirty Laundry Stinks

We all make mistakes. We make bad choices. There is no shame in being human.  There is however consequences when making the same mistake over and over again. There are repercussions for choosing to do the wrong thing again and again and again.

I am guilty of this. I chose to do the same thing over and over again for many years and I can only blame myself. I guess I was hoping for a different outcome but one never came. I lost friends over it. I lost the respect of my family. I like to say I was thinking of the family I was trying to keep together but there is a huge part of me that was just afraid to be alone and start over. That is the reality. That is where the guilt comes in. That is why I did it.

Facebook is literally the window to the lives of our friends. It all is contingent upon how much you share amongst the masses.  Some of my facebook friends keep their pages limited to the occasional status update, some utilize it for promotion of their art (i.e. music, blogging, photography), some as a vehicle for their very strong political opinions, or to help animals, the environment, the poor etc. We use it to network and help each other connect for services or the help we need which I have always thought was the real reason for Facebook.  Then there are the ones who use it just for funny pictures and jokes. It's all good. It was developed to share information. If you are one of those people that airs all your dirty laundry and every scandal for which you are a part of you open yourself up to being judged. Don't lay the evidence on a table for 100's to scrutinize if you are going to be unhappy with the response you receive.

This is probably the one thing that has and will always frustrate me about facebook. The fact that people use it in a sense to try and get the resolution they crave by broadcasting your problems for all of us to see. Remember people you are posting this info with the intent that Sally or Jim will see it and see the error of their ways and come crawling back. Or that Joe Schmo will realize what a putz he is solely based on your cryptic status update where you "call him out" without ever directing it at him at all. What you fail to remember is that your family is on there. Your friends are on there and in most cases people you barely know or see anymore are on there and know you put your life out there for and it makes for great fodder for all those who love to judge.

I digress I am getting away from the real reason I am writing this. Lately I have seen more than one woman scorned post. It goes something like this. He cheated, you caught him, Days go by, More facts come to light. Bad Facts. Facts for a really bad lifetime movie. You post it all over facebook along with those quotes in boxes about being a strong woman, or karma, or real men. You know what I'm talking about. Then suddenly you go dark. We hear nothing. We see nothing.  Why? Cuz you took his ass back.  Why? Cuz you don't want to be alone? Or maybe he blackmailed you cuz that would make more sense in my book.  If all the terrible things he did to you are true and you put it out there for all the world to see NOW you have to deal with the backlash, the opinions and in some cases people turning their back on you. There is only so much a human can take. How many times does he have to drain your bank account, or sleep with the town bar whore or shack up with another chic before you realize he is using you, doesn't want you or is just a sick sociopath?

Breakups are terrible. You should have the love and support of your friends the first time and maybe even the second time, but here is what I was talking about in my opening lines of this blog. If you continually take him back over and over again it is no longer a mistake for which everyone around you should be there to help you pick up the pieces. It is a choice. A choice you are making for whatever reason you have in your head, but being one of those people who did it I can safely assume that there is really no good reason to waste your life on someone who brings no joy to it.  So the next time your relationship with Mr. Wonderful comes to an abrupt, dramatic made for TV movie ending I suggest the following: Don't air your dirty laundry on facebook Don't go crying to your friends unless you honestly and truly are ready to move forward because then and only then should they have to be there to pick up the pieces.

I am always reminded of this saying.
Fool me once shame you.
Fool me twice shame on me.

Don't be a fool.  Love yourself enough to rise above.  Be alone, it's healthy  Be afraid, it's normal. If you do then the people who love you will jump at the chance to help you get through it.

Otherwise spend the rest of your days on google images looking for the perfect I am woman hear me roar quote and leave the rest of us alone.

Zakadoodle

RIP Zak 

Never have I known a dog that completed a human's life so much as you did Jessica's.

She will love you forever.  Today is a bad day in a string of bad days she will have adjusting to life without her best friend.  

You will be missed today, tomorrow and forever. 

Love you buddy