I literally just deleted the blog I wrote, because I realized it was not fair to express my opinions about a person without giving them the opportunity to respond to them. Even though I tried to keep it vague and leave out names and places it wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who it was based on how I was telling the story so I am changing gears and putting it down this way.
Change is inevitable. Struggle is optional.
Lives have been altered forever.
The family has been altered.
It will never be how it once was.
The new normal is here.
No one likes it, but we have no other option but to accept it.
If you really look back on the last few years, you weren't even that close to me.
Of course I cared about you. You were a friend but sadly, your perception of the relationships you had with me goes much deeper than mine.
No one left you out of anything.
The things you once were a part of aren't there anymore.
We have all gone our separate ways to some degree.
Death, illness, divorce, new jobs have dictated a shift in how we used to do things.
It was never done TO you. It was never even about you and I wish you could see that.
I challenge you to write down the number of times in which you were with any one of us outside a social situation.
I bet you can count them on your hand.
This is not to hurt you.
It's an attempt to make you understand.
You have to stop dwelling on the past.
Your new "strong" persona is a facade that no one believes.
If you are truly getting help then continue on that path because it is what you need.
You will not and shall not drag me down into the depression you are in over the loss.
It has taken every ounce of strength we have to get to this point.
I don't hate you.
I want the best for you.
The best for you is to move on because this life was never really you.
It was your connection to him.
It allowed you to hang on.
You don't need forgiveness. You did nothing wrong.
You have romanticized the relationship you had with us.
I wish I could understand where it comes from.
I won't make any assumptions.
Your feelings are real.
You are allowed to have them.
And I am allowed to not subject myself to it.
Im not sorry for the decision to cut you out of my life.
I am sorry that you don't see that in the grand scheme it is the best thing for you.
Find peace my friend.
I too have a hard time writing things & not deleting them. It's hard for me to write & be true to me but still socially acceptable. I've gotten away from that in the past few months. I no longer care. The only person you have to protect is you. People are going to draw their own assumptions after they read your post. Maybe they're right, maybe not. As long as you aren't mentioning someone by name, what more do you really owe them?
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