We all make mistakes. We make bad choices. There is no shame in being human. There is however consequences when making the same mistake over and over again. There are repercussions for choosing to do the wrong thing again and again and again.
I am guilty of this. I chose to do the same thing over and over again for many years and I can only blame myself. I guess I was hoping for a different outcome but one never came. I lost friends over it. I lost the respect of my family. I like to say I was thinking of the family I was trying to keep together but there is a huge part of me that was just afraid to be alone and start over. That is the reality. That is where the guilt comes in. That is why I did it.
Facebook is literally the window to the lives of our friends. It all is contingent upon how much you share amongst the masses. Some of my facebook friends keep their pages limited to the occasional status update, some utilize it for promotion of their art (i.e. music, blogging, photography), some as a vehicle for their very strong political opinions, or to help animals, the environment, the poor etc. We use it to network and help each other connect for services or the help we need which I have always thought was the real reason for Facebook. Then there are the ones who use it just for funny pictures and jokes. It's all good. It was developed to share information. If you are one of those people that airs all your dirty laundry and every scandal for which you are a part of you open yourself up to being judged. Don't lay the evidence on a table for 100's to scrutinize if you are going to be unhappy with the response you receive.
This is probably the one thing that has and will always frustrate me about facebook. The fact that people use it in a sense to try and get the resolution they crave by broadcasting your problems for all of us to see. Remember people you are posting this info with the intent that Sally or Jim will see it and see the error of their ways and come crawling back. Or that Joe Schmo will realize what a putz he is solely based on your cryptic status update where you "call him out" without ever directing it at him at all. What you fail to remember is that your family is on there. Your friends are on there and in most cases people you barely know or see anymore are on there and know you put your life out there for and it makes for great fodder for all those who love to judge.
I digress I am getting away from the real reason I am writing this. Lately I have seen more than one woman scorned post. It goes something like this. He cheated, you caught him, Days go by, More facts come to light. Bad Facts. Facts for a really bad lifetime movie. You post it all over facebook along with those quotes in boxes about being a strong woman, or karma, or real men. You know what I'm talking about. Then suddenly you go dark. We hear nothing. We see nothing. Why? Cuz you took his ass back. Why? Cuz you don't want to be alone? Or maybe he blackmailed you cuz that would make more sense in my book. If all the terrible things he did to you are true and you put it out there for all the world to see NOW you have to deal with the backlash, the opinions and in some cases people turning their back on you. There is only so much a human can take. How many times does he have to drain your bank account, or sleep with the town bar whore or shack up with another chic before you realize he is using you, doesn't want you or is just a sick sociopath?
Breakups are terrible. You should have the love and support of your friends the first time and maybe even the second time, but here is what I was talking about in my opening lines of this blog. If you continually take him back over and over again it is no longer a mistake for which everyone around you should be there to help you pick up the pieces. It is a choice. A choice you are making for whatever reason you have in your head, but being one of those people who did it I can safely assume that there is really no good reason to waste your life on someone who brings no joy to it. So the next time your relationship with Mr. Wonderful comes to an abrupt, dramatic made for TV movie ending I suggest the following: Don't air your dirty laundry on facebook Don't go crying to your friends unless you honestly and truly are ready to move forward because then and only then should they have to be there to pick up the pieces.
I am always reminded of this saying.
Fool me once shame you.
Fool me twice shame on me.
Don't be a fool. Love yourself enough to rise above. Be alone, it's healthy Be afraid, it's normal. If you do then the people who love you will jump at the chance to help you get through it.
Otherwise spend the rest of your days on google images looking for the perfect I am woman hear me roar quote and leave the rest of us alone.
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