RIP Boys- Gone too soon

When the Amber Alert went off last night while Brian and I were watching television. I stopped, I listened and waited for the details as I always do to make sure I don't know the parties involved and to just be aware because you never know.  I admittedly don't worry as much when I hear its a family member or custodial parent, because the kids are rarely in danger. It's usually just someone who didn't get the kids back in time from a scheduled visit or decided they are taking off with their child. I am not condoning those instances, I'm just saying for the most part the kids are not in danger.

Today is a very different day. Alton and Ashton Perry went to daycare like I'm sure any normal day, but their day would end very differently. At the time of this writing there is not real answer as to why their Grandmother did what she did. The parents stated that the grandmother, Debra Denison suffered from mental illness and owned a gun.  Details will emerge in the coming hours and days and possibly weeks. 

I won't judge those parents for letting their mother/mother in law pick up the children. I don't know that I would have made the same choices but I am not a part of these peoples lives. I do not know what goes on in this family's life.  You have to believe that the grandmother was doing well with her illness to some degree otherwise why on earth would the parents allow her to have that kind of access to them.

I guess we have to wait and see. Regardless of the outcome. It doesn't matter if the parents were negligent or the Grandmother was mentally ill. No amount of commentary, blame, or speculation can bring back these children.

Take the time to take stock of the people in your life and be vigilant when it comes to the interaction they have with you and your family.  It may be tough on a family dynamic to set limits on the interactions between you and those family members or friends that are closest to you but for the safety of you and your children it's important to not turn a blind eye to anything.

RIP Alton and Ashton. A very sad day for your parents, and other relatives but as for you both you are free.

No its TRUE. I saw it on the Internet

In my generation, yes I am getting to that age where I talk about "my generation", our parents taught us about gossiping and spreading rumors that weren't true.  In my generation, you had to call people on the phone or spread the propaganda in person so you had to think twice because the blame is all on you.
 Those days are OVER.

Today, you can post just about anything you want on the Internet and through the magic of photoshop you can make anything LOOK real.  The REALity is that half of what is "shared" on facebook or "googled" is propaganda. News that has been spun to benefit the author.  I don't know how many "Facts about Obama or Bush" I have read and after some research in to the article found half truths and misrepresentation in them.

So here is where YOU COME IN.

If you really care about the cause, the person, the animal, the illness, the politics, the tragedy that you just "reposted" while you were eating your lunch and drinking your latte then you would take the time to confirm it's validity.  Here are some common "shares" you ALL Need to be aware of

1.  Dr. will perform surgery on blah blah person if he gets 1,000 likes
   Who in their right mind HONESTLY thinks that a world renowned surgeon is hovering over his laptop anxiously waiting for that 1,000th like so that he can perform this life saving surgery on a deserving child?
   
2. APPLE is NOT giving away a free phone.
   Reposting a stock photo of IPhone's with your color choice will not get you a phone. At this point in iPhone's  monopoly of the technology do you honestly think this is remotely true?
   
3. LIKE this picture of a little girl with a bruise to her face if you are against child abuse.
   First of all I ain't "liking" any pictures of injured children or animals nor should you and why perpetuate a photo that is either photoshopped or of a real child who is not benefiting in any way shape or form from her pic being shared across the Internet.
   
4. POST this very long lawyer type disclaimer so that Facebook doesn't use your pictures or anything else for public use.
   People, you just posting a status will not stop this. There are privacy settings for that. READ
   
5. Facebook is going to charge us monthly unless you like this, post this or share this.
   As of today Facebook has never attempted to charge it's users and it makes BILLIONS in advertising. The advertisers promoting are their customers. FB NEEDS you, not your puny monthly charge.

I know there are plenty more that I could bullet but honestly I'm getting annoyed rehashing them in my mind so here goes a bit of a rant.

As far as political posts go, it's useless to try and reason with any of you. Republicans, Democrats, Independents, and whatever else the party du jour is.  If you support Obama you will repost every piece of news real or fake that flashes across your page that is pro Obama. If you hate Obama you will do the same. Neither side takes the time to research the information to ensure it's accuracy. NEITHER. And if you say you do you are a liar because you want people to believe what you believe when it comes to politics and if spreading misinformation recruits one more person to your "side" you will do it. So there's no point in trying to stop you. That's why I installed socialfixer.org to my FB page. This way I can hide all your political posts and not feel the need to research them all because it takes too much time, too much effort for you just to tell me that after hours of fact finding that my findings are wrong because they oppose your political beliefs.

As far as Jesus goes. I find it interesting that I never see posts from the Jewish Faith, the Hindus, the Buddhists, the followers of Allah,, etc. etc.  You get the idea. Only Jesus. Like this, share that and if you don't it means you don't love God.  People, don't let the sins of mortal men in the Catholic Church drive you to shove your religious beliefs down other peoples throats and for those true believers in God or Jesus Christ you already know that if you happen to miss reposting that really bad Jesus picture it doens't mean you are going to hell (probably purgatory for a bit j/k). If I don't "like this or share that" it doesn't mean I don't have faith it means I think your post is stupid and a waste of time.

Famous people are more important the soldiers who die every day.  NO, the men and women who give their lives everyday are NOT less important than when Whitney Houston died.  No one person is more important than another. HOWEVER, this is social media.  The passing of Whitney Houston was world wide news because she was KNOWN worldwide. She was a household name across the world. THAT's why you saw it everywhere because we "knew" her. When a soldier is lost it is a greater tragedy than someone like Whitney, however we don't KNOW them. We don't HEAR about them and that would be because  ladies and gentlemen it is a tragic, horrific and private event for families who DO NOT live their lives in the spotlight. Many families don't want photos of their husband, father, son, daughter, wife, mother splayed all over the net as a constant reminder and those that do spread the word and by the power of facebook it reaches your computer screen. Do you REALLY want to honor the fallen?  Go here http://militarytimes.com/valor/ or make a donation to wounded warriors, or other charities that focus on the brave men and women who have lost their lives for our freedom.  Don't have money? Donate your time to a local VA or have a food drive for homeless veterans.  The constant barrage of photos about the masses paying more attention to the deaths of celebrities versus our military is ridiculous in my mind. Raise awareness not propaganda.

BEFORE YOU POST about a missing child. Be responsible and verify its validity:

http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=4319

BEFORE YOU POST any news stories that look more like "stories" than news go here:

http://www.snopes.com/

You can search snopes with some key words to verify a story. For instance remember the whole Starbucks refusing to donate to soldiers. Check this article out from Snopes:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/starbucks.asp

The moral of this rant disguised as a blog today is that we are too lazy, too complacent and too trusting with what we "share" on social media. Be responsible. Think before you like, share or repost.  Don't be a gossip monger.  

Social Media outlets are a breeding ground for sick, pathetic people who use the Internet to bully, perpetuate  untruths and propaganda.  If any of these individuals had to stand before a group of people and recite their chain letters, hoaxes, pleas for help and explain the validity of their photoshopped pictures they would surely fall down and die. It's easy to hide behind the Internet. Don't be a party to it. 

Take responsibility for what you post.

Thanks. Now go ahead back to your pages and repost me ANOTHER picture of Obama in a turban cuz I haven't seen enough of those and the next one just might make me question his citizenship and don't forget to share that photo of the baby with a cleft lip because I heard the doctor won't operate til he gets 10,000 likes.

Thanks for reading. I look forward to the backlash :)

Love is....

What is Love?

Love is easy.
Love is hard.
Love is patience.
Love is kindness.
Love is understanding.
Love is forgiveness.
Love is compromise.
Love is generosity.
Love is forever.
Love is sacrifice
Love is saying goodbye when you don't want to let go.
Love is holding on tight when it would be easier to say goodbye.
Love is looking for the why and not the how.
Love is a gift not a right.
Love is always beautiful.
Love is for everyone.
Love can't be wrong. If it is then it isn't love.
Love is not obsession.
Love is not control.
Love is not blackmail.
Love is not power.
Love is not dark.
Love is for you.
Love is pure.
Love is honest.
Love is for me.
Love is beautiful.
Love is boundless.
Love is what makes our time on earth a better place to be.



LOVE the people in your life with your whole heart.

Happy Valentines Day.

Dear Rex Reed

Dear Mr. Reed,

You are what is wrong with the world. You are a severely insecure man whose reviews are insignificant and meaningless to the public at large. Does anyone honestly skip or see a movie based on your reviews? I think not. You know you are no longer relative to the entertainment industry so this was your last ditch effort to garner some attention. Are you happy with the outcome?

What I think the general public fails to see is that calling people fat, obese, lard ass, tractor size etc Is the same as saying fag or nigger yet it is still socially acceptable. The things I have been called in my 39 years of life are obscene. I have always been dumbfounded by people who are somehow offended by my fat appearance. How does this affect you? It's not like I leaned over and stole your dinner. I am not black nor am I gay but i can relate. I have been persecuted my entire life for my appearance and so when I heard about your review Mr. Reed I was reminded how asinine people truly can be and you use your very small amount of celebrity to perpetuate hate. Because that is all it is you clearly have a disdain for fat people or let me clarify fat women. Laugh if you will but I am a fat woman. I am a fat woman who is completely offended and disgusted by your words and shocked that a man of your education and background thought this was a good idea.

It's not ok ladies and gentlemen to verbally insult people because they are not a size two. Melissa Mcarthy is an accomplished actress and one of my favorites from back when she was on Gilmore Girls and her star has risen so much since then. She is funny, she is talented and she is beautiful and who the hell cares what size she is?

It saddens me in so many ways that in 2013 it's ok to make people or to try to make people feel bad about themselves because they are fat.

It's a struggle every day as an obese person and losing weight has been a losing battle for me for the Better part of 20 years so who are you to judge? I hope that you lose your job over this and if you don't it is safe to say you have lost credibility in the eyes of your peers, your fans and the general public. Nothing short of an apology can fix this.  If I were to ever lay eyes on you in person Mr. Reed I would be happy to discuss all the faults in flaws I perceive when I look at you.  Then again, no. I'm better than that.

So many prejudices in this world and its not socially acceptable so why should being fat be a target? Let us be the best we can be. Size does not apply.

Dirty Laundry Stinks

We all make mistakes. We make bad choices. There is no shame in being human.  There is however consequences when making the same mistake over and over again. There are repercussions for choosing to do the wrong thing again and again and again.

I am guilty of this. I chose to do the same thing over and over again for many years and I can only blame myself. I guess I was hoping for a different outcome but one never came. I lost friends over it. I lost the respect of my family. I like to say I was thinking of the family I was trying to keep together but there is a huge part of me that was just afraid to be alone and start over. That is the reality. That is where the guilt comes in. That is why I did it.

Facebook is literally the window to the lives of our friends. It all is contingent upon how much you share amongst the masses.  Some of my facebook friends keep their pages limited to the occasional status update, some utilize it for promotion of their art (i.e. music, blogging, photography), some as a vehicle for their very strong political opinions, or to help animals, the environment, the poor etc. We use it to network and help each other connect for services or the help we need which I have always thought was the real reason for Facebook.  Then there are the ones who use it just for funny pictures and jokes. It's all good. It was developed to share information. If you are one of those people that airs all your dirty laundry and every scandal for which you are a part of you open yourself up to being judged. Don't lay the evidence on a table for 100's to scrutinize if you are going to be unhappy with the response you receive.

This is probably the one thing that has and will always frustrate me about facebook. The fact that people use it in a sense to try and get the resolution they crave by broadcasting your problems for all of us to see. Remember people you are posting this info with the intent that Sally or Jim will see it and see the error of their ways and come crawling back. Or that Joe Schmo will realize what a putz he is solely based on your cryptic status update where you "call him out" without ever directing it at him at all. What you fail to remember is that your family is on there. Your friends are on there and in most cases people you barely know or see anymore are on there and know you put your life out there for and it makes for great fodder for all those who love to judge.

I digress I am getting away from the real reason I am writing this. Lately I have seen more than one woman scorned post. It goes something like this. He cheated, you caught him, Days go by, More facts come to light. Bad Facts. Facts for a really bad lifetime movie. You post it all over facebook along with those quotes in boxes about being a strong woman, or karma, or real men. You know what I'm talking about. Then suddenly you go dark. We hear nothing. We see nothing.  Why? Cuz you took his ass back.  Why? Cuz you don't want to be alone? Or maybe he blackmailed you cuz that would make more sense in my book.  If all the terrible things he did to you are true and you put it out there for all the world to see NOW you have to deal with the backlash, the opinions and in some cases people turning their back on you. There is only so much a human can take. How many times does he have to drain your bank account, or sleep with the town bar whore or shack up with another chic before you realize he is using you, doesn't want you or is just a sick sociopath?

Breakups are terrible. You should have the love and support of your friends the first time and maybe even the second time, but here is what I was talking about in my opening lines of this blog. If you continually take him back over and over again it is no longer a mistake for which everyone around you should be there to help you pick up the pieces. It is a choice. A choice you are making for whatever reason you have in your head, but being one of those people who did it I can safely assume that there is really no good reason to waste your life on someone who brings no joy to it.  So the next time your relationship with Mr. Wonderful comes to an abrupt, dramatic made for TV movie ending I suggest the following: Don't air your dirty laundry on facebook Don't go crying to your friends unless you honestly and truly are ready to move forward because then and only then should they have to be there to pick up the pieces.

I am always reminded of this saying.
Fool me once shame you.
Fool me twice shame on me.

Don't be a fool.  Love yourself enough to rise above.  Be alone, it's healthy  Be afraid, it's normal. If you do then the people who love you will jump at the chance to help you get through it.

Otherwise spend the rest of your days on google images looking for the perfect I am woman hear me roar quote and leave the rest of us alone.

Zakadoodle

RIP Zak 

Never have I known a dog that completed a human's life so much as you did Jessica's.

She will love you forever.  Today is a bad day in a string of bad days she will have adjusting to life without her best friend.  

You will be missed today, tomorrow and forever. 

Love you buddy

The Goodbye

Where are you going?
Wait What did you say?
Why when you talk you can't look at me?
Did you have another bad day?
Well if your taking a ride can I come too?
You need space ?
Space from who?
Me? But why?
How can that be?
We didn't have a fight.
Nothing is wrong.
I went to get my jacket
You were gone.
Already down the street driving away
I called your cell.
You don't pick up the phone.
I don't know what's going on .
Please come home.
It's the middle of the night.
Where have you been?
How can you ignore me?
Your sleeping in the den?
I won't stop screaming til you tell me what this is about.
What do you mean you have doubts?
Doubts about us, doubts about me?
We have been married 10 years.
How can this be?
We can work it out.
You just need to let me know.
What do you mean you think you have to go?
You want a divorce?
What did I do?
Its not me you say its you?
That's the line your giving me
as your packing your shit and leaving me?
You think Im a fool who will just lay down and die?
You think it's just sadness that makes me cry?
What's her name?
How did you meet?
Does she know up until today you were still sleeping with me?
Oh you have fallen in love?
You want to live the dream
The grass is greener or so it would seem.
I guess i ignored the signs
When you wouldn't look at my face.
All the late nights "working"
What a disgrace.
I won't beg you to stay
In fact I want you to leave
This is actually liberating
I feel I can breathe
No more jumping through hoops
Just to keep you pleased.
Enjoy your new life
Get out of mine
No I don't care where your going
I didn't hear what you said
Oh I wasn't looking at you?
Got other things goin on in my head.
I'm taking a ride.
Lock up when you leave.
I don't need to say goodbye
I'm not gonna grieve.